Online Medical Classes

My mother and step-father are heading to a divorce....I hope?

Ok...this is going to be very long because I'll probably be venting a ton, but here it goes... My mother and step-father got married 3 years ago after a decently rough 2-year relationship. They didn't get together for the right reasons, and it's pretty obvious. She was the first person he dated after he's 1st wife had an affair with a teenager from his baseball team that he coached. So, my mom was, like, a major rebound for him. Plus, he told his kids that he was just looking for someone to take care of them for him. She'd been single for 11 years, really struggling financially, and was SO desperate to not be alone that she'd been willig to stay with someone who'd beaten her, someone who'd cheated on her, and someone who was still married. Step-dad was making a lot of money and was willing to marry her, so they got hitched even though few of us (10 kids between the two of them!) outspokenly disliked the idea. Now it's been three years, and the last few months ahve been absolutely hellish. She's had this "sickness" that even all the specialist she's seen have said is just in her head. She's taken a handful of sleeping pills just to prove a point (another long story). She's attack step-dad. Tried to run over step-dad with a car. And is blaming everything on his kids, saying she'd wish they'd just move in with their mother (evil psycho lady that had said affair with 14 year-old kid) even though she'd been working at the kids for the past 3 years, trying to show them how horrible their mother is. Step-dad won't leave, because he doesn't want us to be left with no money (noble, yes, but still a wrong reason to stay in miserable realtionship). Step-dad won't leave becasue of his pride (told us he didn't want to look like a quitter with 2 divorces on his plate). Step-dad won't leave because he wants someone to take care of his kids for him so he can be "fun time" dad and only have to do the easy stuff like go to football games and whatnot. Step-dad doesn't want to leave, because, once again with the pride, doesn't want people at his church (he's will big in it, on a few committees) to judge him. It's all ridiculous. And mother is putting all the blame on one particular kid, my lil step sister (I'm having her come stay with me this weekend to give her a break...I'm in college by the way, so I'm not able to be there a whole lot). She won't do anything for her, even refused to take her to one of our friends' funeral who just died (she went to our highschool). Its so bizarre. She's not wearing her ring. He's not sleeping in their room. and there are 8 kids living in that enviroment!!!!!! They're heading for a divorce. Even my 7 year old step-sister has gotten that figured out without anyone having to tell her. We're all just waiting for it to happened but they won't do it!! SHE TRIED TO RUN HIM OVER!!!! And he still won't leave. And it's what most of us want, AND need. And what makes me the most mad? My 16 year-old brother, who should know better, talked her out of filing for a divorce last week because he doesn't want to lose the finances that step-dad brings to teh table. He f-ing talked her out of it! When it's in the best interest of all parties! They aren't happy together, and they never have been. They don't love each other, and they never have. I just don't understand what I should do. I mean, I'm living at school, 3 hours away, and I'm so scared something's goig to happen. She gave us all these weird little notes that seemed like suicide letters and then got mad when we started freaking out. And she looks up these illnesses online, on those medical dictionaries (which should be banned for the following reason) and all of a sudden has these "syptoms" of random diseases she thinks she has. Like memory loss. Which she doesn't have. it's fucking crazy! Dysfuntion junction, anyone? What should I do? Because I honestly don't know. I jsut know that it's gone on long enough and gone way too far and that those 8 kids shouldn't be around all the crazy negative bizarre-ness. What should I do? And yes, I know that my mother is decently psychotic. Runs on her side of the family (Her mother is a bipolar, hypochrondriac pothead. Seriously). Sorry about the rambling vent-age. Don't really have friends to talk to that'll understand. Most of their parents are still together.

Public Comments

1. wow dude that sounds a little overboard ur mother no offense but one of this days she is going to bust the psycho on those kids she has leaving in her house, i mean she is not mentally stable on ur step dad wont budge their both nuts that is not an a environment for 8 kids to leaving with hell no idk what to tell you go to a social worker and help thos kids it sounds to me that it hellish leaving in that house
2. Wow, your step dad is amazing, honestly. I would ditch you guys so easily, especially your mom. She's is FUCKING CRAZY. I hope you don't turn out like that.
3. You are attempting to "fix" a problem that is not fixable by you or anyone else. Your mom and step-dad have allowed their children to become overly knowledgable and involved in their dysfunctional problems. Although you don't agree with their marriage, ultimately it is their decision to remain married or divorce. Many families are dysfunctional and their children still manage to move into adulthood and make something of themselves. It will be each of their decisions to seek counseling if they feel their family life has interfered with their ability to function normally. Focus on your studies and not the problems of your entire family. If your siblings contact you, attempt to reassure them. You cannot help your parents if they refuse to help themselves. If you are concerned for the welfare of your siblings, contact Child Protective Services.