Online Medical Classes

Please help :'( how can I stop associating schoolwork with stress? Is giving up the better choice...? (LONG.)?

I really need the good grades because I want to apply to the field of veterinary medicine, but for the past months since I've moved to online homeschooling(depression and sleep issues...), I've had next to zero motivation. It was a good move for me, and I was happy initially... but I just can't handle it now. I feel like I lose control of my mind and time all the time. I also feel so disconnect with my dream at the moment, but I know that I do want it.... I get stressed out about not getting work done, but its so difficult for me to start it because I know that I NEED the good grades, and I've trained my mind to always do my best.... Instead of starting the work I need to get done, I just drift off and do something else, then the cycle continues, and it has been this way for a while, a little less than 13 months.... I've gotten some work done but not anywhere near as much as I should/can, and I know it. But I just can't get to it.... How can I reverse this? I also lack discipline. I'm basically half nocturnal now, I've tried to reverse it but it's just near impossible.... There's been times when I've been waking during the morning for a few weeks, but then it just collapses back again.... I'm thinking of giving up veterinary medicine and applying for a field requiring less commitment, like veterinary nursing, which is 2 years of studies at my university of choice. Or just start working after high school. I've had this dream for as long as I can remember, and I know that it'll affect me bad if I do give it up... but I'm just so stuck right now. I'm also scared that once I do get that certification, I won't live up to it due to my emotional instability.... Has pretty much been this way since I was 12.... What do you think? Does it seem like a better choice for me? I just can't suck it up and deal with it right now... but is hanging on for the better? I really don't know at the moment.... I'm in my last year of high school. The school I'm enrolled in is also free pace. I don't have a tutor, the chances of me getting one is less than 1%.... I have till October to complete all my courses, I need an additional 2 courses to graduate. I usually get 90-100% ... when I actually get work done.... Also learning driving at the moment, started about 2 weeks ago. After summer I'm going to a gap year boarding school as well, where you'll learn but won't get any assignments or exams. Sort of like a leisure school where you can meet people. I'd also say I'm well off socially. It's mainly my academics right now.... Homeschooling is helping because I'm not failing from counts of absences or lateness....

Public Comments

1. Your dream is NOT unattainable... work at it and you will have it. It sounds to me like your problem is not school work, but rather structure. You have the same problem that many people who work from home have - lack of motivation. At home there are too many distractions that take you away from what you need to be concentrating on... school work. I know for a fact that I could never work from home, I'm just not disciplined enough. I know you said you're home schooling because of depress/sleep issues, but you also say that still have sleep issues (half nocturnal) so how is home school helping? As for depression, I still think you'd have less stress and mental pressure sitting in a class with a teacher to guide you and other student to interact with, than being isolated from the world in your bedroom. The world may seem scary and ominous, but it brightens up as soon as you find your place in it. Caring for and healing animals is a beautiful career and very attainable goal. This is your world, girl... go out there and take what's yours! A great poet once wrote: "Learn to help yourself to your world... cuz it's all yours... lean how to take it... it's YOUR world girl.' "